clever in words, speaking so sweet
years of struggle have laid my soul bare
torn apart, not for the first, the second, the last
loving you with all we have in the past.
ugly as a monster, unbearably weak
cannot feel or dare to speak
once again to feel thy worth
a nothing person from the day of birth
fighting to keep down weight of an outgrown girth
living a life creating confusion
if I never had to speak again, I would not
yet my soul aches for the correct words, I have forgot.
confusion negotiates a destructive history
yet a grounding impact is my only fish tree
Now I don’t know what life is to be
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